| (Judge numbering is for reference purposes only. There were eight
total judges. Each category was judged by a minimum of two and a maximum of
three judges.) |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN the Eagle Midday Show with Mark Weeks | Over use of the “in for Zoe”, not a lot of Internal Information, a bit fast on delivery at first – hard to understand. Good technical quality. Good phone interaction. What is the message? |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN The Eagle Afternoon Show Live | Yelling. Over the top with the delivery. No humor in speech impediment. Singing along also not very humorous. Good tie –in of story telling. One technical glitch at the end. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Start Your Day with Melissa Hay | Intro jumbled/confusing – who were all the others intro’d? Way too much time spent on the flute intro. Talk show? No music? First four minutes spent on flute intro. Mocking Host Country during the “Fashion Statement”. Too much talk – where’s the music? No internal information – or if there was – it was lost in the talk. No time- no weather – little internal information. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Morning Power House | Fast delivery - words run together - hard to understand. Soft spoken. Not a whole lot of personality. Good internal information Doesn't seem to have an "on air" identity. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Thanksgiving | No internal information until 28:00 in - except for weather. Turkey song produced "in-house"? Little internal information - trivia answer should have been recorded and played back for some listener interaction. Delivery good. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN the Eagle Midday Show with Mark Weeks | Slow down and your words won’t run together. Great voice just seems too rushed. No internal information from what I hear. Who is the audience? Civilian broadcaster or is he military? No message to our audience |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN The Eagle Afternoon Show Live | LIVE What is the show open? Xbox live Call of Duty must be big. Didn’t walk any ramps to lead into songs. Trying to be funny but doesn’t seem to be working. Good voice. Don’t push so hard to communicate. Relax. Have a wonderful evening? Bad edit at the end. Bad taste to choose to talk about people with a speech impediment. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Start Your Day with Melissa Hay | Great open! Made me laugh. Ran on too long with the flute. Good transition to Community center classes. Three and half minutes. Community center. Community Center. Community Center. Internal information is good, but try to spread it across the base. Try to limit your fun to 1 minute and then move on. Didn’t understand the Pirate bit. Seemed to be an in studio joke. Finally got to the message. Never really knew who the other people in the studio were that tried to contribute. Should be following the standard of identifying yourself by rank and name. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Morning Power House | Liven up a little bit. Too rushed. Words running together. You have a good voice. Script out your show, slow down and talk to me. No excitement in your voice. Use your internal information to make your show more interesting. Pronouncing numbers wrong. You can be more effective, if you actually sounded like you want to be in the studio. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Thanksgiving | 17 minutes into the show we do the weather? Finally got to internal info at 28 minutes into the show. Walk the ramps with command info. You should be talking into and out of every song. You're commercial free. You read a bunch of info that could have been inserted on the ramps of songs. Lots of areas where you could have really made this an even better show. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN the Eagle Midday Show with Mark Weeks | High energy, good voice, fast pace, clever, tightly produced – Mark Weeks does a nice job. Sometimes sounds a little too much the same, not enough change in emphasis in the somewhat breathless pace when changing subjects, can seem all run together. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | AFN The Eagle Afternoon Show Live | Fun selling of Pancakes with Santa, speech impediment comment (inappropriate). Frank Brown had a lot of energy, sometimes hard to understand because of the speed with which he spoke. He could back off and relax a little. (Good remember he’s the d.j. and not the singer.) |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Start Your Day with Melissa Hay | Too many voices and extraneous music and sounds and hard to figure out what they are really trying to do. Who’s really running the show? Melissa or the other two guys? Where’s the internal information? This first bit went on for almost 4 minutes and didn’t amount to anything. Info about PT wear was over-silly and basically incomprehensible. Lot of show seems to be Melissa giggling and unidentified guys reading a lot of the copy. ?? |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Morning Power House | DJ needs to slow down a bit, words all run together. He could work on diction. Good information about Christmas buffet. DJ does not seem completely excited about what he's doing. Rather bland production. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Entertainment Program | Thanksgiving | DJ had a nice, friendly, engaging voice and manner. Entry, though, had too much time to music - not enough showcasing her talents. Production qualities could have been enhanced a bit. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | AM Radio | The background of the dial move was distracting - I couldn't understand the first few words of the spot. Message was hard to catch. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Father's Day Greeting | The main message sentence "present for free" was difficult to understand - had to listen to it 3 times before I understood. Good concept though. Who is the audience? The kids or parents? Doubtful kids will remember a number to call. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Cyber Bullies | "AFN Family TV Special" slurred together. What time is it on? Great concept - although a bit confusing on who the bully is! |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Child Development | Where is the CDC? The information at the end seemed to trail out - P-M was turned into a word. Concept good - although the crying of the baby was a bit overpowering. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Civil War | Background music very overpowering. No internal information for this spot. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | AM Radio | Important information, but the information about where the signal was moving to, was given in the middle of the spot. It ended by giving the frequency it would be returning to. Might be confusing. Background sounds were distracting to important message. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Cyber Bullies | Too rushed and words ran together. No time given of when to watch the program on TV. Confusing. Good idea to cross promote. Missed the mark by not giving a time... |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Child Development | Good idea of bringing out the plight of the parents when they are new to an assignment. Very creative. Slow down and practice your script so that it doesn't sound like you cut the spot in one pass. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Civil War | Good spot. Didn't know Matthew Broderick worked at your station. Nice touch using all the voices from different people. Your mix of music and voices didn't work. Music was too loud in some spots where the voices were. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Father's Day Greeting | Cute idea. In fact, great idea. But too much time taken up in the 30 seconds before it got to main point. Also maybe the telephone number was too long to remember. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Cyber Bullies | Spot didn't say when the special will air. Creative script and well delivered except that some of words near end seemed to run together and hard to understand. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Child Development | Important information but "husband" seemed a little too cavalier and uncaring for a "wife" who was "freaking out." |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Civil War | Nice effort but not really "internal information." Music overrode voices of actors at points. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | AM Radio | Would have been more effective if you had broken up your script with the dial changes. The word "But" was not necessary in the script. I didn't get the dial change until half way through the spot. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Spot Production | Father's Day Greeting | Nice touch using the children. Not sure how many children are going to remember the phone number. Good thing this runs throughout the day so they can be sure to write it down the next time they hear the spot. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | NCO of the Year Challenge | Seems like a television story turned into a radio story. More of a feature than a news story. Good audio - but some of it was hard to envision. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Gun Dogs | Soundbites very hard to understand. A visual story - doesn't translate well to radio. More of a feature story than news. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Hurricane Irene Evacuation | Good news story. Could have benefited from some ambient sound. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Joint VBIED Training | Very good use of nat sound. Good soundbites. Not sure if I got all elements of the 5 W's. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Vice Presidential Visit | Weak lead in - didn't give Vice President full ID - Vice President Biden - no first name. When was the visit? Lacking full information. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | NCO of the Year Challenge | Good use of sound, but it was not clear what we should be "seeing." The script and the sound have to paint a picture. Lots of sound, but not completely clear what was going on. (Was this a TV report submitted as a radio report?) |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Hurricane Irene Evacuation | Good voice work. Nice script. No nat sounds from the planes landing. This would have been a nice touch to this story. Good information. Hope you got a lot of air time on this spot. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Joint VBIED Training | Good audio in the background. Seemed like your delivery was rushed. Good command information. Good transition to subject matter expert. Nice spot. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Vice Presidential Visit | Cant say just Biden in a radio spot. Have to address him always as Vice President or use "Mister Biden". Left out the first name of the vice president but we know his wifes first name. Too bad as this was a nice spot. Good use of soundbites to tell the story. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Gun Dogs | Good use of nat sound. But it was not completely clear - several of bites from soldiers a little muddled. Good effort, though, to put the listener on the ground and on the scene. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Hurricane Irene Evacuation | Good, clear report, but disappointing in that it didn't have any natural sound. Story was about huge airplanes being repositioned to avoid damage from hurricane, but we didn't hear any airplanes. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Joint VBIED Training | Nice use of nat sound. Good information and good soundbites from instructor. Could have been a little more energy in reporter's voice. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Vice Presidential Visit | Should have used VP's title on second reference instead of using just last name. Otherwise good use of bites and nat sound. Reporter's read was good and clear. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | NCO of the Year Challenge | Voice breaking up throughout spot. Good use of on the scene audio. Audio low on the subject matter expert. Was this a TV spot? |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio News Report | Gun Dogs | Nice opening. Great spot. Great use of in the field audio and "Live Action". Something most people never get to hear. Good internal information and command information about trying to get food to the Afghan people. Could have maybe chosen a different person to interview. Clarity didn't come out till the middle of the spot and that's when we figured out what the spot was about... |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Combat Care | Very good use of nat sounds and bites. Very good narration - scripting is very good. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Waves 4 Water | Good use of descriptives in scripting. Some of the water sound seemed edited in vs. natural. Soundbites were strong - really helped to carry the story. Narration could have been more active - a bit monotone. Good story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Holiday Concert | A good feature story. Nat sound/bites/narration were nicely mixed. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Urban Assault Guam | Narration monotone - lifeless. Didn't quite understand the story - didn't seem to develop. Missed the point of the story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Shun the Non-believers | Didn't have the opportunity to really hear the music from the featured individuals. It was a good story idea - just would like to hear their music. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Combat Care | Good use of Nat Sound,good weaving of atmospherics. Interesting piece. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Holiday Concert | Nice open to your story! You didn't add the Jingle Bells music! Nice voice work. Interviewee audio low. Nice transitions. Good attempt at weaving audio, however, it would have been nice to hear it under your voice and then brought up full for your nat pops! Good story. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Urban Assault Guam | No enthusiasm in your voice. Use of nat pops would have been great in this story. Didn't understand the story. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Shun the Non-believers | Nat pop of the band before the soundbite would have been good. Didn't get to hear the band till the end. Could have really developed this story into a longer feature. You introduce us and then the story is over. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Waves 4 Water | Good piece. Informative. Could have, perhaps, used more natural sound to place us on the ground in Afghanistan. But it was a very nice attempt to tell an important story. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Holiday Concert | Nicely produced piece, but might have liked to have heard from oboist's children since reporter mentioned them as the highlight for her. Good use of music and soundbite from orchrestra member. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Urban Assault Guam | Good story and nice use of natural sound, but a little too short to get the full impact.
Nice effort though. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Shun the Non-believers | Too bad we didn't hear the band - about which the story was done. What kind of music, for whom do they play? |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Combat Care | Great audio pops! Excellent use of natural sounds. Great voice work. Nice scripting. Very nice work. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Feature Report | Waves 4 Water | Started out slow. Try not to talk when you interview someone that way we can't hear your street voice, or don't use those soundbites where you are agreeing with the subject matter expert during your interview. Not a lot of enthusiasm in your voice. More natural sound would have helped your story. And bring it up to 100% when you use it. Let it help you tell the story. You also didn't sound interested in the story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Patch Wrestling Legacy | Good story with great use of sound and soundbites. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Fort Hood Spotlight: Bluebonnet Fun Run | it was a good story - I missed her open and close - her name seemed slurred together. The bites were great - very personable. It was kind of a mix between a plug for MWR and a story for the Fun Run. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Military Affairs Committee Golf Tournament | A weak story - didn't really get the point of it. No development to the story - didn't realize what was going on until it ended. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Torii Bowl | Nat sound overrides the narration. Very difficult to understand. Since I couldn't understand the first part of the story - I didn't know what the rest of the story was about. Narration seemed muffled. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Patch Wrestling Legacy | Good use of natural sound and weaving in and out of soundbites. Very good report. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Fort Hood Spotlight: Bluebonnet Fun Run | Nice story on a community event. Reporter got involved, talked to a lot of folks, and ran part of the race herself. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Military Affairs Committee Golf Tournament | Not clear who the soundbites are from - a player, but who is he in relation to the Military Affairs Committee? |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Torii Bowl | Natsound almost overwhelmed narration,hard to understand. Not clear what point of story was. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Patch Wrestling Legacy | Nice nat pops and use of soundbites. Story progression makes sense. Good script. Nice storytelling. Really nice audio weaving. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Fort Hood Spotlight: Bluebonnet Fun Run | Audio edits were too tight in the beginning. Didn't need the names of the people. Nat sound pops would have been great. So many sounds out there. And you shouldn't put yourself in the story. All those runners out there. Anyone of them could have eneded your spot for you. Nice voice work. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Military Affairs Committee Golf Tournament | Dead air in your spot. Low audio mix. Run on soundbite. You could have used lots of nat pops in your story. Disorganized storytelling. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Sports Report | Torii Bowl | Audio mix did not work. Nat sounds were too loud under your voice. A football game has lots of nat sounds all over the place. You missed the chance to tell a really good story by not listening to the sounds around you on the football field. Rushed through your narration. You didn't seem interested in telling their story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Back To School Special | Good feature/tie-in with the different posts and schools. Very effective soundbites. Good scripting. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Holloman Happenings - August 19, 2011 | Very confusing. I didn't understand the first story at all and the transitions were very awkward. Definitely lost me with the closing. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Regional Command Southwest Radio Round-up Aug. 12 | Very weak script. No soundbites, nat sound, nothing. No transition from story - one long monologue. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Back To School Special | Soundbites from teacher little long before the key fact that school is closing. Good effort to tell an important community story. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Holloman Happenings - August 19, 2011 | Not clear what this was supposed to be. Too many different sounds and voices without any transitions. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Regional Command Southwest Radio Round-up Aug. 12 | Not a good report. Not well written. Or, if it was, it was not well read. The announcer has to be truly interested in the story in order to communicate any information well. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Back To School Special | Nice opening to story. Run on soundbite. Why didn't you do a nice story on the woman retiring? No audible transitions between stories. Didn't know you were at the end of a story and that you were leading into another story. No inflections used to let us know. Bad edit at the end of the story. Audio cutoff. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Holloman Happenings - August 19, 2011 | Audio mix is not even. Audio cracking. No transitions between stories. Was this a TV spot used as a radio entry? Didn't make any sense at the end of the report. You have to let your audience know that you are moving on to the next story. Could have been better with organization and scripting. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Newscast | Regional Command Southwest Radio Round-up Aug. 12 | Didn't know you could address an officer by his last name only. You have a good voice but you don't sound like you are interested in telling stories. Run on sentences, no natural sounds, and no transitions between stories. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Radio Information Program | Sesame Street/USO Program | Very good interview. Pleasant voice. Well scripted. Would have like to hear the story that was edited out - it sounded very emotional. I would suggest - copyright allowing - the use of sound/music from the DVD that they are featuring. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Radio Information Program | Sesame Street/USO Program | Slow down. Great lead for an event that's coming to your installation. Good voice work. Questions helped lead the interview in the right direction. Why did you telescope the story? Why was the woman crying? Now I'll never know. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Radio Information Program | Sesame Street/USO Program | Host was competent enough, but the interview was too long for the subject matter. Probably should have heard from the DVD that they were talking about, or at least something from the Sesame Street characters to enliven the interview. Pretty dry stuff. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Centennial of Naval Aviation | Very nice use of NASA B-roll and bites. Seems that it's mis-titled though - more focus on NASA than 100 years of Navy aviation. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Full-Spectrum Training Environment: Road to War | I liked the video and editing - it worked very well with the scripting. Very good - although it was heavy on acronymns. Did this air on television? |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Faces of OCS | Very entertaining. Good progression - transitions from beginning to end. Everything is tied together well - from the scripting, bites and b-roll. Transistional graphics were bland compared to the rest of the content. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Centennial of Naval Aviation | Very nice job on intro graphics. Well produced documentary. Good use of historic footage and interweaving of soundbites. Nice use of music. Compelling stories told well by the people involved. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Full-Spectrum Training Environment: Road to War | Good use of graphics and film techniques to illustrate a complicated story. Unfortunately, not enough use of natural sound from soliders on ground doing the training. Only sound is from the interview soundbites. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Faces of OCS | Good inside view of OCS, view that most will never get.
But little bit too much like a training film with full screen graphics - almost as if it were going to be presented in a classroom situation rather than on Television.
Video was well shot. Surprised there wasn't more nat sound. Sound info came mainly from interviews. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Centennial of Naval Aviation | Need work on your intro. Relax. Good stories throughout program. No periods at the end of the sentences in some graphics. Nice job putting this together. Would liked to have seen a better background behind General Bolden. Didn't seem like twenty five minutes so it kept my attention. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Full-Spectrum Training Environment: Road to War | Great voice work. Good use of graphics and 3D. Effective background graphics for interviews. Very nicely put together. Nice job. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Information Program | Faces of OCS | Nice intro. Why not use nat pops of the yelling and screaming? That would have made the story more dynamic. You can see the difference in color balance when the candidates were running in place in place. Two different cameras or two different days? Half way through and we never get to hear from the instructors. Very informative program about what to expect before becoming an officer. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | "JEEP-OSCAR-MIKE" | Nicely produced - good effects. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Komets Commercial | Good use of graphics - no need for narration. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | AFAF Telethon Commercial | Very good spot - everything worked! |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Texting | Great concept. Didn't really need the voice - would have been just as dramatic with the graphics and sound effects. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Navy SEAL & SWCC Recruiting EU | Well produced - great recruitment tool. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | "JEEP-OSCAR-MIKE" | Well done and clever spot for contest. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | AFAF Telethon Commercial | Veyr creative approach to get people to watch the telethon. Nice. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Texting | Ending needed an ending. Where was the sound of the death and mayhem and the crashing sound of a car slammiing into the back of another car. Would have made the spot and you might not have needed the graphics at the end. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Navy SEAL & SWCC Recruiting EU | Good cuts on the action. Nice graphics. Narration would have been nice. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Komets Commercial | Nicely done spot for hockey game. Good use of graphics and music. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Texting | Important message and nice effort, but didn't feel like it made the impact it could have. I mean that literally and figuratively. The danger is a crash, and we heard the screeching tires and saw a flash, but no impact. Was there one? |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Navy SEAL & SWCC Recruiting EU | Very well done, good video and terrific graphics. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | "JEEP-OSCAR-MIKE" | Nice spot. Grabbed my attention and held it. Funny too! Glad to see creative ideas. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Spot Production | Komets Commercial | Good spot. Could have used narration. Down and dirty in thirty. Needed more creativity. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television News Report | 100 Flags | More of a television feature vs a news story. Ran long for a new story - although content was good and moving. Don't reuse b-roll. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Tuscaloosa Tornado | Great b-roll/bites. Could have use a reflector on a couple of the shots - some of the faces are shadowed. Good script/reporter delivery. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Conditions at Misawa | No lower thirds on the military soundbites. Good scripting and use of video cuts from from national news. Really need the lower thirds! Great story development. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Marine Week MAGTF Demo | Gorgeous video - great soundbites and script! A great story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Vice President Visit | Video was pretty poor quality - grainy - looks like it was shot on a phone. Nice, clear bites from Biden. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television News Report | 100 Flags | Very nice story. Good use of the letters and sound of reading them. Well shot and nicely edited. More feature than news, perhaps. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Conditions at Misawa | Awesome news report. You covered all the aspects of this disaster and how it affected a big community of Americans and japanese. Very nice storytelling, shot composition. Nice job! |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Marine Week MAGTF Demo | Very nice storytelling. Nice action shots and took the viewer in for a ride with the Marine Corps. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Vice President Visit | Low quality video. No reaction from the service members watching the event. Storytelling, storytelling storytelling. Could have broken up the VP's remarks with soundbites from the people who serve. Nice touch with the iphone video. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Tuscaloosa Tornado | Good sound bites, especially first. But after that, perhaps, too many "official" bites. The guy in the first soundbite looked like he might have been a great story. Could have focused on him and used the officials less. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Conditions at Misawa | Good report. Only concern is that it seemed to imply that the stories on network news in the U.S. were somehow inaccurate about the destruction and widespread fears regarding a nuclear catastrophe. Everything looked perfectly normal at Misawa, but, perhaps, it would have looked considerably different, had there been an escape of radioactivity. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Marine Week MAGTF Demo | Well done piece on Marine Week in St. Louis. Well shot and edited. Well written and narrated including nice standup under the arch. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Vice President Visit | Poor video quality. Good soundbite from Vice President and important story for the folks who serve in Japan. Straightforward telling of a straightforward story. Not much room for creativity when the story is only about a speech. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television News Report | 100 Flags | Very nice opening. Cool look at American history. Storytelling at its best. Nice touch using the words of so many people to help tell the story. Lots of research in this story, you can tell. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television News Report | Tuscaloosa Tornado | Very effective opening. Emotion of residents helps tell the true story. Nice story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Where There's Hope | Moving story. Weak tie-in to the base - kind of moved focus a bit. A bit on the long side. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | OP Coleman | I had difficulty understanding some of the soundbites. It seemed more of a multi-media production with time elapsed photos instead of video. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Breakin' Out the Big Guns | Nice story. Reporter spoke a bit quickly but otherwise good development and use of video and bites. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Marines in Space | Nice feature story - not too much original footage. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Jet Shop | Very good use of humor! The video was a bit grainy but it added to the story. I had trouble understanding the first bite - but others were good. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Where There's Hope | Nice story. Well shot. Not sure what connection this story had to the military in Germany. The focus of the story was once in the military and had a drug problem. Would have been interesting to find out how drugs affected his military career and why he was still in Heidelberg. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Breakin' Out the Big Guns | Where's the explosion of the grenade? Hesitant in standup. Nice story about the Security Police and their combat arms training. Could have been two different stories. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Marines in Space | Nice story about the Marine Corps contribution to Space Exploration. Odd transition to Col Hurley. Didn't understnad it until the Space Shuttle tie in. Nice job. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Jet Shop | Way to get in there and talk to the sailors. Great storytelling. Unscripted and very nice. Great story. Humor is a great way to tell a serious story about the important job these people do below deck. Nice job. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | OP Coleman | Very interesting and creative use of video - almost surreal. But it wasn't completely clear what the report was trying to accomplish. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Breakin' Out the Big Guns | Well shot, written, and narrated. Good information especially for those servicemembers not involved with a security unit. Interesting. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Marines in Space | Good story, well written and delivered, but a little too conventional. Would have liked to seen and heard a little more nat sound. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Jet Shop | Well done piece. Very clever, entertaining, and interesting for shipboard TV. Nice use of graphics to emphasize the blaring sound of the jet engine. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | Where There's Hope | Full circle storytelling. Showed us a great story about hope. Looks like a lot of research went into this story and you can tell. How did this tie into the military? |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Feature Report | OP Coleman | Not sure all the time lapse was necessary. Really needed narration to help tell these soldiers stories. What are they doing all day long? I missed that part of the story. I wanted to hear that part of the story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Hockey Duo | Great development - loved how you moved from the desert to the ice. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | JR Hildebrand Flies with the Thunderbirds | Good story - liked the video and the bites. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Athlete Spotlight: Dahlen Wilson | I think it needed a script - I couldn't understand what championship he won - it would have been nice to hear that he was competing for something that high level. His testimonial didn't carry it - needed an explanation. Also didn't get that he was a Marine. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | LA Dodgers Navy Night | Very good use of humor - made it very enjoyable. Probably could have tightened the story a bit by shortening the video on the boat. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Free Riding | Good video - more of a feature vs a sports story. I kind of miss the tie-in to the military except for the fact that they can go to the track. I might have used Americans for the bites to show that they are using the track. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Hockey Duo | Nice story juxtaposing two soldier-hockey fans in Afghanistan and in Germany. Good effort to get video from both locations. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Athlete Spotlight: Dahlen Wilson | Needed narration to help tell this Marines story. Couldn't understand what he said to start the story. So much natural sound in the arena and we didn't ge to experience that at all. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | LA Dodgers Navy Night | Really nice job of storytelling. Humor is again very effective. Transitions worked well and unscripted you are a natural in front of the camera. Good job. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Free Riding | Good info for recreation. Needed more storytelling. Where are the Americans using this course? That would have been a better tie in for your audience. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | JR Hildebrand Flies with the Thunderbirds | Fun story on race car driver flying with Thunderbirds. Too bad that in-plane camera flared so that you couldn't really see the video behind JR's head. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Athlete Spotlight: Dahlen Wilson | This piece - while it was well shot and had good nat sound bites from the athlete - needed to be set up better. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | LA Dodgers Navy Night | Again very clever entry from MC1 Jimmy Cellini. Felt that there were some fairly awkward dead air moments. But reporter's sense of humor and on camera abilites carried the day. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Free Riding | Very well shot and edited. Interesting piece about something to do in off time. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | Hockey Duo | Smooth transition from the war zone to a hockey rink. Good job telling their story. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Sports Report | JR Hildebrand Flies with the Thunderbirds | Nice opening and good use of nat sounds from the races and in flight. Really nice job telling the story. Good job. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Holiday Special | Nice mix of all the areas. The last piece was kind of short - I didn't get a feel for their celebration. The primary reporter seemed a bit monotone - good have used more energy for the holiday. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | The Benning Report | The Ranger stories are all well produced - although it would seem to fall into a feature category - not a "news" cast. The lead in to the newscast mentioned a tornado going through the area - that is news and I would lead with news and follow with the feature stories. Didn't get to the news story until after the break. All of the stories are well-scripted. Bites, b-roll and reporters all tell a great story. The Spiritual Health story ran a bit long and took awhile to get to the "WOW" point of the story.
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| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Seymour Johnson Weekly Update | Kind of a bare bones newscasts. Good local news stories. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | This Week Inside Iwakuni | The first couple of stories weren't really news - they would have been better placed later in the newscast. The Motivational video was grainy - although itwas a good story. More of a Command Information cast than a newscast. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Holiday Special | Nice, tight survey of Holiday activities from several different locations. Each report was visually interesting, light, and to the point. Lot of information in two minutes. Well done. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | The Benning Report | Piece on Rangers Day one well shot and produced. Good use of interviews and natsound. (Andruss)
Rnagers Day two: again well shot with good sound bites.
Rangers Day three: Again, well shot and put together.
Rangers- profile of winners.
Wonder whether the tornado damage story should have led the newscast.
Recon summit conference - some interesting visuals but too much meeting footage - again, wonder whether it was a newsier story that should have been earlier in newscast.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Seymour Johnson Weekly Update | Decent quick roundup of information for air base. But were these really the most newsworthy stories that occurred on the base for the whole week? |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | This Week Inside Iwakuni | Anchor good, but could have used video over first two stories.
First reporter story - good voice, good delivery. Great story about skydiving soldier who lost his legs.
Nice inserts about weather and other information.
Again, could use video to cover some of these pure information stories about things going on on base.
Good sprinkling of command and base information throughout the newscast, but, again, should use video more.
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| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Holiday Special | Well scripted transitions between the locations. Nice job of short news bits all tied into together. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | The Benning Report | Nice open. Anchor without a tie? Cameraperson seen in story shooting video. Good story on the Ranger competiton. Editing not very tight throughout when using nat pops to start Day 2 of Ranger comp. Showing people cross the finish line was out of order. You showed people crossing the finish line before telling us the men sho finished first. Female anchor doesn't seem relaxed on camera. Good command information newscast. Church story seemed out of place since there were very few people in church. Lighting issues in the church. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | Seymour Johnson Weekly Update | Nice open of newscast. What is on the Anchors head? Used the same shot twice in the Armistice day story. Audio hot in pet story. Audio mixing needs work. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Local Television Newscast | This Week Inside Iwakuni | Really nice open to your newscast. Awesome story about SFC Bowman. No need to glance off to the studio monitor when you lead into a story. No need to look down either when transitioning between stories. Anchor looks relaxed and confident. Very well put together and LOTS of Command Information. Very Nice newscast. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Pacific Report | Provide "and wife"'s name in lower third. Set with General Willard was sparse. Newscaster was a bit monotone - didn't really change his tone during the first half of the cast. There was a good mix of stories from all the bases. Very good information on the tsunami departures. The Decon story wasn't intro'd as an exercise - a bit misleading on the topic of the story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Army Reserve Today Episode Two | Reporter delivery was distracting - sing song. I didn't understand the toy drop story - the b-roll at the end of the story didn't match the story. Video on the medical story was poorly lit. Delivery is so fast and pacing is off - stories are confusing. Not a lot of action in the Hawaii training story - the point of the story was lost - it could have been shot anywhere. Very confusing newscast overall. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Mission Malmstrom Show #16 | Bad video or pink ice in the hockey story? Audio overmodulated on hockey story soundbites. Military chef story had nice b-roll - soundbite from the priest overmodulated. History guy was poorly lit - good information though. Newscaster very stiff. Very nasal reporting voice on the Heartland story. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Pacific Report | Good graphics to start the newscast. Could have used video sooner off the top - setting up interview with Admiral. Also first part of interview should have gotten off of two shot sooner - awkward to have Admiral's wife sitting there not saying anything.
Good story on efforts to get supplies to those affected - could have used some of that video to lead into Admiral.
Nice piece about family members leaving Japan.
Good story on efforts to get relief to those to affected by earthquake.
Liked the "snapshots" segment - good, quick, informative.
Aside from the top of the newscast, it seems to have good pace.
Anchor of newscast is energetic, sharp, clear.
All in all, well produced, good newscast. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Army Reserve Today Episode Two | Very nice open to the newscast, but the intro before the first story on Santa's toy drop was way too long. Ought to get good video on the air sooner.
Introductions to stories are too long.
Individual stories were generally well shot and reported.
Coming out of medical story, anchor completely ignored the fact that dozens of parachutists were dropping out of the sky behind her. ??
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Mission Malmstrom Show #16 | Good story - if a little too long - on the hockey program.
Set for anchor of newscast seems poorly lit. Background is a little too bright for anchor - she disappears in the darkness.
Interesting information about Col. Malmstrom.
Decent stories throughout the newscast, but reporters could have used more nat sound rather than just video, soundbite, video, etc.
Nice effort to show pix of members of base family, but could have used better production values.
Seems like the "band" consisted of one guitar. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Pacific Report | Good start to the newscast with the Admiral. Breaking news handled well by the reporters. Nice touch by adding the print people in your newscast. Good nats in working dog story. Nice newscast. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Army Reserve Today Episode Two | Good opening to newscast. Very good command information. Really nice story about the medical mission. Anchor looked more natural when she smiled. Good newscast. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Regional Television Newscast | Mission Malmstrom Show #16 | No intro music to news? Audio was hot on interview subjects in Hockey story. Needed to hear from the children getting all the help. Nat sounds from kitchen would have helped the story move along. Hot audio again in the food story. Awkward use of how Malmstrom AFB was named. Needed lighting. Chyron on Survivor incorrect. Needed nat sounds from the Warriors story. Audio hot again in Warrior story. Nice use of the photos from around the base. nat sounds from the flightline would have been a nice addition to the story on the F-15's. Nice story about the Heartland Band. Blue video in interview of guitar player. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Medical Transformation | There seemed to be two messages - where the hospital is and the L&D hospital. I didn't get the complete message of the story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Guten Appetit | Great feature piece - music, b-roll, scripting, bites all flowed together and made me very hungry! |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | EuroPass Weekend - Lake Bled | Reported delivery was a bit difficult to understand - enunciate a bit better. Very pretty video - good feature piece. Nice concept for overseas visitors. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Miramar Minute: Air Traffic Control Marines Keep Pilots in Line | Narration audio lower than the rest of the story - couldn't hear the script. Missed the message of the story. Nice video. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Artwork | I would have like to have seen the multi-purpose room where the tiles were to be installed. Nice to see the work of the students. Some redunancy in the script. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Medical Transformation | Well done segment with important information for target audience. Well shot, edited, with clear script. Worthwhile piece. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | EuroPass Weekend - Lake Bled | Nice opening shot. Where's the castle? You talked about it but didn't show it. Too bad about not wanting to get married. The reporter is not the story. Adding the printing machine at the end didn't fit. Video looked really good. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Miramar Minute: Air Traffic Control Marines Keep Pilots in Line | The nat sounds were good to hear at the beginning. Reporter audio low throughout story. No takeoffs? No landings? This story could have been so much more, especially with all of the visuals from an area most people never get to see. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Artwork | Odd opening sequence. No use of natural sounds from the room with all of those students. Try to make use of the sounds around you. They can help tell the story. Slow down your pace when reading script and try to sound like you are interested in the subject matter. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Guten Appetit | Very nicely done piece on restaurant - good info for folks who live and work on base. Very well shot and edited. Script clear. Very nice involvement on part of reporter - good standups and interaction with subject of story. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | EuroPass Weekend - Lake Bled | Very nice graphic open to EuroPass show: Nice video. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Miramar Minute: Air Traffic Control Marines Keep Pilots in Line | Good video. Nice use of identifying graphics. Piece started with some nice nat sound, but then didn't use it enough throughout piece. Wanted to see,hear, and feel the stress and tension that occurs in an air traffic control tower. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Artwork | Script starts out saying "Smashing, Pounding, and Cutting" - didn't see any of that.
Unfortnately, throughout the piece, the video did not match the script. We didn't see what the narrator was talking about.
Video was well shot, and script was okay, but piece could have used some better editing.
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| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Medical Transformation | Good idea to show the community where to find medical care in the community. Smooth transitions between locations. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Television Newsbreak | Guten Appetit | Nice use of nats from the interview. Nice way to showcase what the German community has to offer servicemembers and their families. A little rushed in his delivery. Slow down, otherwise, nice story. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Eurobird-9A Satellite Television Service Migration | Very good campaign - very thorough and user friendly. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Building Strong People Campaign | Good recruiting tool for Army Corps of Engineers Gorgeous video, good soundbites, and good use of nat sound. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Deck Watch Radio | The stories were interesting - but not really a full-fledged campaign. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Campaign Information Campaign for SPICE | Very nicely produced story from Bethesda. Good information. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Eurobird-9A Satellite Television Service Migration | Launched amazing effort on many different platforms to get everyone to switch their dishes. It was clear, concise, and easy to follow. Well done on a tough issue. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Building Strong People Campaign | Saw segments dealing with the following:
Park Ranger USACE
Scientist USACE
Environmental Engineer USACE
Boat Captain cleaning up NY harbor
Each piece was well done, but it was not completely clear what the campaign was about - was this recruiting only? And the relationship between the civilian jobs and the military jobs with the Corps of Engineers was not made very clear to this viewer. Which ones were they looking for with this campaign?
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Deck Watch Radio | Radio:
Good idea to do brief segments on local public radio station to enhance community knowledge of Coast Guard. Could have used some better production values instead of mere reading. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Campaign Information Campaign for SPICE | Important campaign, generally well done. Re-enactment in All Hands story was less effective than the other two produced pieces. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Eurobird-9A Satellite Television Service Migration | Good spots. Voice work in spot had a mispro. Nice touch with the Colonel. Nice campaign to inform and help your viewers make the transition. Well thought out scripts. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Building Strong People Campaign | Good use of natural sounds. Park Ranger story worked well. Audio low in Physicist story. Using the plastic over the camera lens to write? No use of the nat sounds available in restoration drudging program. Lots were available. Good story. Nat pops worked well in NY story. Good storytelling script. Video submission length was over. 10 minutes or less and this submission was over 16 minutes. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Deck Watch Radio | Took too long to get into program. Stilted voice work. Tight editing between stories. Seemed like on e long run on sentence. Audio low from reporter. Slow down your pace and try to sound like you're interested in the stories you're relaying to your audience. No definitive break between your news releases. Audio low on last story from reporter. Audio cut off mid sentence so we didn't get to listen to the entire submission. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Command Information Campaign | Campaign Information Campaign for SPICE | Very effective opening sequence. Nicely put together. Excellent command information. Pettty Officers delivery needed to be slower, words ran together. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | SPC Adam Winters | Good mix of news stories. Flood b-roll very good. Scripting on all stories very good. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Lance Cpl. John Tucker | Outcues with "reporting from Washington" was this video gathered by someone else and edited/scripted by LCPL Tucker? Voice/delivery is a bit monotone. I don't get the impression that the reporter was actually there. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Good diversity of video and radio stories/spots/show. A bit still on camera - don't need to hold the script up - gives a stilted appearance. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | A1C Nathan Tucker-Outstanding New Broadcaster | Very nice use of nat sound in all the stories. Good strong voice. Great boom operator b-roll! Good scripting throughout all the stories. Good use of soundbites. Would have like to have seen A1C Tucker on camera at some point. All news stories - would have liked some diversity with a feature. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | SPC Adam Winters | First piece had some good nat sound of firing guns.
Second piece on flood help.
In both stories would like to see this reporter on the scene.
Helocast - might be better to let the chyrons identify the interviewee rather than orally say the long title and name.
In all these pieces, need more nat sound.
This reporter has a very good voice and reads well, but needs to make it clear that he's on the scene doing the story, not just narrating someone else's script.
Finally, in ghost story, saw the reporter. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Lance Cpl. John Tucker | Nice story. Video on Marine Scholarship seemed a little out of focus.
Good video in the stories, but could use more natsound. Had plenty of oppportunity, air hammers, etc.
Unfortunately, this reporter sounds like he's reading someone else's words - not really vitally interested in telling the viewer a story.
Broadcast news is all about telling a story, and you can't tell a story well if you don't believe that it's important and interesting and you can't wait to tell someone about it.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Outstanding New Broadcaster | MC2 Jen Labao:
Good voice. The radio dj portion seems to be more her cup of tea. She seems more interested in what she's saying that when she's reading a news script.
Nice bright cheerful sound in her voice.
When anchoring, nice appearance and voice, but she needs to be as interested in the stories she's reading as in the ad libbing on her radio shows. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | A1C Nathan Tucker-Outstanding New Broadcaster | Nathan Tucker:
Joplin story: Nice video and good use of nat sound - even interviews done with people involved in doing something.
Refueling - great video in air.
Pre ranger school...good use of nat sound. (don't tell me what the interview subject says, let that person say it.)
Once more, no sense that the reporter is on the scene doing the story.
Very nice voice and good reader, but he could be reading someone else's script.
Well produced spot for the base. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | SPC Adam Winters | Good use of visuals to help tell the story. Nice opening sequence with helicopter. 180 violations inside helicopter. Audio really hot in Military Police story. Nice composition of interviews. 180 violations again iin miliatry police story. Lots of areas for use of natural sounds to be weaved into stories. Audio hot in marksman comp. Lots of ops to use nat sounds from the weapons ranges. Who won the competition? Good job for a first year broadcaster. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Lance Cpl. John Tucker | Opening sequence would have worked better with use of natural sounds from the shooting environment. Good visuals. Many different angles. Interview out of focus. Great story. So many ops to use natural sounds to help tell the story. Lots of good camera shots. Audio low on Bagram AB story. Audio low on Mass Casualty exercise. Well composed Interview shots. Couldn't understand the interview. Good job getting the shots. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Outstanding New Broadcaster | Nice story from Kosovo. Lots of ahhs in radio show. Good command spot on storing personal goods. Vice President Biden not addressed properly in story. Nice story on the Diners Drive ins and dives. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding New Broadcaster | A1C Nathan Tucker-Outstanding New Broadcaster | Use of nat sounds help tell the story. Video composition was good. So many ops to use natural sounds from the shoot locations but were not used. Scripting was good and told the stories of these many different command subjects. B-2 video well put together. Audio low on full spectrum combat team. Nice job on the video representing Whiteman AFB. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Chris Knoblauch | Commissary story was good - although I didn't get the point of it at first. Volunteer spot good. Missed some great opportunities for rack focus on the Mainz story. Don't recommend using such an easily recognized song for the hotel story. Good feature with the EEO MSG. Nice storytelling. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Christian Marquardt | Loved the video on the 2nd story - not quite clear on the message of the story. Really liked the Soldier 360 story! The video from the next story was also very good. Good stories - not a lot of diversity in the types of stories. Good scripting/storytelling - video throughout is very nice. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | A1C Laura J Beckley | First story seemed rushed - just reading on the scripted part - difficult to understand. No lower thirds on the sports stories. Need to slow down delivery - slurred - difficult to understand. Radio stories seemed like they were taken from video. Good diversity of video and audio input. Never ending story of the Nativity fall - took way too long to tie in to the point. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | MC2 Elliott Fabrizio | Facebook story - good concept - a bit too long - bad audio on the sports video - camera mic? Audio is bad throughout. Interview with Black Eyed Peas awkward - asked yes/no questions. Video quality of the Challenge story seemed dark. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Sgt Todd Hunter | How many of these stories were actually produced by Sgt Hunter? Seems more like an anchor reading someone else's script. Voice is weak. Michael misspelled on lower third of Change of Command story. Marine spot well produced - good energy. Not a lot of diversity. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Chris Knoblauch | Nicely shot piece on shopping spree. Good involvement by reporter.
Knobloch - decent anchoring.
Good clear voice. And energy in voice indicates that he has written the pieces, understands the story, and in interested in it.
Continuing good video and writing matches the video and vice versa.
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| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | A1C Laura J Beckley | Good story on Ephesus. Lots of visuals and good camera work. Wrestling footage blue on audience. Good story on a community member. Good spot for the AAFES theater. Audio a little too much at start of police week. Use of nats was nice to hear in the police story. Audio low on wire dogs. Nats Audio in Hodja special worked well. Nice tie in to the community services available from the Nativity destruction. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | MC2 Elliott Fabrizio | Well scripted and produced spot on security. good idea to promote for the Navy Boxing team. Audio hot going into 2nd boxing match. Great story on boxing. Black eyed peas segment good for command morale. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Sgt Todd Hunter | Good story on Marines in Space. Use of stock footage maybe not a good choice. Did you shoot any of the footage. Great visuals of the Command Sergeant Major changeover. Good self promotion of Marines TV YouTube page. Great story on te Fight team in St. Louis. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Christian Marquardt | Second story: Twelve weeks. Interesting camera and film and sound techniques. But don't know what story's about till the end.
Soldier 360 - good story about an important issue - dealing with stress.
School evacuation. Well done.
Training - good video from field.
Good video and well delivered narration.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | A1C Laura J Beckley | Nice piece on Ephesus - good reporter involvement. Clear that she was interested in the story and want to tell it.
Wrestling story: Nicely shot and good story. She's clearly interested in these stories and wants to tell them well.
She has a good clear voice and has a lot of nice energy - sometimes, though, on the radio, she can speak to quickly. She's better when she's telling a story.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | MC2 Elliott Fabrizio | Talented guy...good on camera, lot of energy in his voice.
Pieces on boxing championships barely understandable because of bad audio.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Sgt Todd Hunter | Todd Hunter:
Use of video from Afghanistan and US intercut with each other was very jarring.
Michael was misspelled. (New Sgt Major of Marine Corps)
Good spot for youtube page. Lot of energy - well done.
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| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Chris Knoblauch | Nice use of nats to tell story about shopper. Nice job. Camera angles and shot sequencing was nice. Radio spot well produced with nats and narration. Mainz story shows good use of angles and nat sounds from environment. Scripting worked well. Use of Hotel California in Germany? Same shot used three times in the spot. Your use of nats in these stories made a big difference. Nice job. good storytelling on the MSG. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | DoD Broadcast Journalist of the Year | Christian Marquardt | Good visuals and use of nat sounds. Camera angles. Nice job on the mind images in sepia. 180 violations on riot story. Good visuals from different angles. Story open worked well in crisis story. nat sounds worked well. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Today's Air Force | Obviously running the prompter in first stand up. First story was more of a montage than an actual story. It took over a minute to get to the heart of the story. Night video too dark to get the message of what was going on. What airman qualified? Focus really seemed on the Army training and not the Air Force involvement. Progression of stories seemed out of order. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Recon: Future Soldier; Recon: In Tandem | Very good use of non-narrative, testimonials make the stories. Unclear that it's actually a program - no intro into it. Aburpt transition. Very inspirational - although still never got the feeling that it was a program. |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Army Newswatch | Awkward hand movements of anchor of the ATA (?)- distracting. Dempsey interview too long - rambling. Two guys standing on the set is also distracting. Cassie story sounded like it was recorded in a tunnel - hollow audio. S |
| Judge # 169 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | All Hands Television | What does uniforms have to do with winning Sailor of the Year? Would have like to have heard what got them chosen as the Sailor of the Year. Nimitz story was good - liked the graphics leading up to it. Music seemed a bit dramatic for the Nimitz - I kept waiting for something to happen. A bit too long. Good graphic effects on the blood drive story. Stories tend to all run pretty long. Dog handler story was well-done. Anchor doesn't seem to know what to do with his hands. |
| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Today's Air Force | Airmen going through Army Ranger School.
Anchor could do a better job of hiding the prompter controls.
Video and music intro to story about ranger school was much too long.
Some decent natsound. No focus on Air Force members in Ranger school.
Pre-Ranger school: very little natsound.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Recon: Future Soldier; Recon: In Tandem | Good, very important, story, but a bit of a jumble. Seems start in the middle and somehow goes back to beginning then goes to creation of bike. There was a great story to tell here.
It was well shot and well edited, but story could have been told in a more direct line.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Army Newswatch | Interview with General Dempsey - talking about picture of squad leader on radio. Good to have picture.
Long interview.
Report from Hungary good video. But not particularly compelling report. Reporter sounded not completely interested.
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| Judge # 170 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | All Hands Television | Sailor of the year - all advanced to CPO. Didn't learn anything about what made them sailors of the year.
Nimitz in drydock: Documentary about year in drydock. Decent video but virtually no nat sound and slow pace.
Blood supply - good use of creative computer grahpics. Nice video from hospital. Agains slow pace, but some use of natsound.
Good story about brig inmates training helping dogs for wounded warriors. Very nice video of dogs and good soundbites from inmates. Important story. Good story.
Although this was the best flagship program, none was really outstanding.
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| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Today's Air Force | Nice open however why is the anchor holding the teleprompter? Lots of good visuals in the ranger story. Where are the nat sounds from the exercise? Would help tell the story. Nats too low in a few areas. Where was the airman going through the ranger school? Good nats throughout. Reporter doesn't seem interested in the story. Used the same video twice. Should have been lots of video to use. Good showcase of Army talent until the last story. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Recon: Future Soldier; Recon: In Tandem | Inspiring story on the Marine Corps marathon participants. Well produced. Well Scripted and good use of weaving the many different stories. Nice work putting this together. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | Army Newswatch | Good open to program. Anchor should try to keep his hands on the desk. Command information spots worked well. Correspondent in the story at first video? Same photo used over and over. Where is all the live footage of soldiers in combat? Why the still only? Good interview with the general. Hosts of the program worked well together and switching back and forth worked well, however, why two hosts? Audio hot from reporter in Hohenfels spot. Good program and lots of command information. |
| Judge # 171 | Broadcast | Outstanding Flagship Television Program | All Hands Television | Nice open for this show. Nice editing and storytelling for Sailors of the Year. Good tie in to the other sailors who have been through the same experiences. Nice story of becoming a chief. Opening sequence for Nimitz nicely done. Great story about coming home. Storytelling on the Blood drive was well scripted and produced. Nats were used very well. Canine story very inspiring and how it ties in to the Wounded Warriors Program. Nice production, well scripted and good storytelling. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Northwest Guardian | Solid, appealing content--well delivered. Operation Care Fair=superb. The Community Ledger adds quality information for retired, reserve, visitors to installation. Comment: watch spacing on captions--it's difficult but the design software can help. Also, I didn't find page numbers? |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | GOSPORT | Well organized, easy, entertaining read. Creative design. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Hawaii Marine | Very creative design, but spelling errors mar creativity. Need better editing.Typos turn off the reader, spoiling the experience. |
| Judge # 165 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Hawaii Marine | Great news package |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Northwest Guardian | Well-designed, easy to follow, with excellent use of photos. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | GOSPORT | Very solid report. Well-designed and good variety of coverage. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Hawaii Marine | Solid report with good value to reader. Design in entered editions was a bit repetitive, nto as functional in drawing in reader, compared to competing entries. |
| Judge # 165 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | Northwest Guardian | Some pages are gray. Writing is good. |
| Judge # 165 | Print | Metro Format Newspaper | GOSPORT | Well packaged aqnd produced |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Tabloid Format Newspaper | The Mountaineer | Content was solid, but design could improve to avoid "jumbled" look -- always a challenge in this format. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Tabloid Format Newspaper | Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego | Lots of informatiion here, but some interior pages are type-heavy. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Tabloid Format Newspaper | The Mountaineer | Could benefit from more art--overall more content. There must be more to tell about Madigan Health Care. Be alert to dangling text. Easy read==leading, tracking and kerning very good. Warrior recognition photos a real plus. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Tabloid Format Newspaper | The Coastline | Excellent content, ensuring coverage appealing to international community is a plus. Particularly impress MC3 Waris Banks and Pauline Weakley's article "Old World Semblance." |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Tabloid Format Newspaper | Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego | Outstanding images. Well designed. Appealing content for entire depot community--including those who enjoy history. Beware dangling text at top of columns-it's distracting. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Energy Source Magazine | Well done! |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Warrior-Citizen | Easy read. Flows well. Leading, tracking and kerning contribute to easy pace. Content grabs attention and layout/presentation holds it. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Currents Magazine | High-quality design. Good, up front placement of social media icons (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) recognizes emerging important of new media access. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Pass in Review | Creative design complements creative content. "Living Legends" is solid addition-probably takes a little more time to assemble and insert in layout, but effort is worth the investment. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Reservist Magazine | Excellent use of photos with good design -- but fewer photos would permit more effective display in some stories. (Too much of a good thing winds up diminishing overall effect). |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Energy Source Magazine | Good job of using photos and design to make content accessible and engaging -- even to a casual reader. Good range of coverage.
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| Judge # 166 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Warrior-Citizen | Excellent combination of content, design, visuals and variety of material to produce a publication that has something for every reader. Best is category for me. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Currents Magazine | Good use of photos, with typically good content. But overall display and design were too busy with too many "breakouts" that I found distracting. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Magazine Format Publication (Other than Flagship) | Reservist Magazine | Exceptional artwork and the design optimizes that quality for the reader. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | Lightning Strikes | Good content, and often main photo was selected and used well. But layout was a hurdle at times rather than a help in drawing reader to main focus on the page. Also, wavy art elements and too-large headers on many pages were not needed and at tiems distracting. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | BLUE RIDGE MAGAZINE | Classic case of less equaling more -- typography and design here overwhelms. Content is solid, but color over type or reverse type, color blocks against photos, and simply too many photos subtract rather than add to impact. Solid cover display - well-thought and focused. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | Pacific Pride | Crisp design, with distinct elements -- at times, design approaches loss of impact thruogh too many elements, but stops just short of that negative. Excellent photos and display but -- as with many other entries in many categories -- one less photo would have improved the overall package. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | Lightning Strikes | Good, creative design warrants better editing. Missing words (incomplete sentence) and failure to capitalize (iraq) detract. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | BLUE RIDGE MAGAZINE | Solid appealing content for onboard, in tune sailors. Overuse of acronyms and initials, without explanation makes this somewhat less value to family/friends. Would benefit from a sharper eye in editing. (Madame Tussands or Madame Tussauds?) |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Newsletter Format Publication | Pacific Pride | Exceptional artwork-many would be highly competitive in photography competition. Design makes very effective use of quality images.Broad range of appealing content, plus solid editing and quality design make Pacific Pride a high-quality publication. |
| Judge # 165 | Print | Web-Based Publication | Naval Special Warfare Group 2 | Bold innovative |
| Judge # 165 | Print | Web-Based Publication | The Warrior's Log | Great info package |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Web-Based Publication | FORSCOM Frontline | Takes linking too far - no one element draws attention or provides focus. A good page two, but as a "cover" page fails to distinguish between elements. [Of note: cover of 12/9 edition did address some "emphasis" design elements, but inside pages were marked by similarly sized photos and repetitive design. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Web-Based Publication | Jet Gazette | Lacked "punch" in terms of content - writing needed more editing (long ledes, summary ledes). Layout was standard, but not compelling. Where were Web elements for this category? |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Web-Based Publication | Naval Special Warfare Group 2 | As with several other entries in this area, no real sense of "Web" in publication -- essential for a winner in this category. As print-only, well done with excellent use of photos. But Web links and embedded connections are not visible to reader. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Web-Based Publication | The Warrior's Log | Where are the Web elements -- links, embedded elements that take advantage of technology? Print transferred to Web is not going to take top honors in this category, no matter how well-executed. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Web-Based Publication | FORSCOM Frontline | As an informational newsletter, this would greatly benefit from additional content. FORSCOM definitely has the information. For example, the "Top Shots" is a very good idea, but it would seem there could be many more of these images. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Web-Based Publication | Jet Gazette | Exceptional design makes very effective use of impressive artwork. Flows easily. Attention gaining heads. History articles good value to superb web-based pub. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Web-Based Publication | Naval Special Warfare Group 2 | good, entertaining read. Would benefit from better editing. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Web-Based Publication | The Warrior's Log | Solid content but could benefit from broader range of content. The web-based medium offers tremendous opportunity for creative content additions-try to make better use. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Coast Guard Magazine | Generally good content and cover design -- but photo variety subtracted from excellent photography: Great photos do not always require full-page display, and fewer photos in a package can often strengthen the package. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Airman magazine | Quality images provide designers great opportunity and that is not lost. Easy read, flows well. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | All Hands Magazine | Good dose of history in the solid lineup of current ops and training. The tributes to 9/11 and Naval Aviation Centennial are well thought out and concisely presented. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Marines Magazine | Quality content, well presented. Caution: don't try to be too artsy in design. Blurring images is a good treat for the eyes, but it can be overdone. Also, don't leave the reader wondering who shot the photo. Individual photo credits or are an indication of professionalism. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Soldiers magazine | Good writing and easy-to-follow format, hurt the design score is hurt by unusual photo displays including ovals, oddly shaped cropping and such. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Airman magazine | Varied content and superb photography -- but stacked cutlines and "on-too-many" photo displays hurt design scores. But high score for creative approaches to story-telling and story selection. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | All Hands Magazine | Outstanding covers on submitted issues, combing smart design and good photography. Inside pages, though, tended to "go grey" with flat layouts. Also, story length seemed longer than needed for subject matter. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Marines Magazine | Excellent cover and interior page design -- creative without being distracting. Good mix of stories with compelling writing. With photos, credits vary or are missing -- all should have, and format should be standard. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Coast Guard Magazine | Good use of QR codes, social media opportunities, but I missed caption info in more than one article. Captions provide opportunity to add to the story. Also, try to get names of Coast Guardsmen in the photos--- |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Publication | Soldiers magazine | Excellent publication. Tribute to 9/11 particularly well done. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | Army.mil | Solid, information packed yet easily navigated. One-clicks seemed to get me to much of the needed material. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | af.mil | While the site's opening page covers a lot of ground, it seemed to have too much for a user to easily locate primary information. I also would have prefered one less (two, instead of three) focus points particularly given rotating items. Page required me to spend too much time on visual navigation to scan available items. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | navy.mil | Navigation bar items to major subject areas worked well for me -- anticipated reader needs well. Content was good, but overall design seemed "light" and could easily become repetitive (and diminish impact) for frequent visitors. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | Marines.mil | Clean, crisp design works -- except plain-type "content" clickable items in the boxes at the bottoom of opening page seem lackluster compared to the active top of the page. A simple design element ... a bullet or checkbox in front of lines of type would have distinguished each item and held up against heavily designed upper page. Good one-click navigation. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | Army.mil | Social media, blogging links prominent/easily located. Home page very busy, but easily scanned for desired content. Hot topic and Army news well positioned. The Army is at war in Afghanistan and it's good that is recognized prominently on home page in Featured News. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | af.mil | Very basic home page. Lots of text. Prominent links to social media supports use of those sources of content. AF blog good stuff. Web provides tremendous opportunity for creativity. Take advantage of it. By using search feature--searching "Afghanistan" --I found a mention back on 2 April. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | navy.mil | Media Port, good launching pad for various methodologies of accessing content. What initially appears as a very basic design actually provides a usable threshold for access to the Navy and what is going on. Key word search works well for images/articles. Good access to history via About the Navy. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Flagship Website | Marines.mil | Good, crisp, clean home page. Nice visual appeal. Search feature might benefit from a review to see if it's best available software. Some commercial sites more responsive, but this is adequate and provides access to extremely broad range of content. Very prominent access to social media. I like the announcement about Marines on iPad/Droid. Top stories are a bit aged and few. Perhaps a renewed focus would help. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Website | Airman | Well-designed, inviting appearance with top-of-catgory use of Web page design to focus attention and direct readers to main subjects -- making for easy navigation. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Website | U.S. Combined Arms Center web page | Site mission covers a lot of territory, but as such provides obstacles to mroe than a "links" first page -- and a lack of impact. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Website | Scott Air Force Base | Too busy (see left side) and unfocused to be inviting to readers. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Website | sealswcc.com | Too many clicks to get to good content. Menu on third click was a good idea ... but it also has too many items to be reader-friendly. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Website | Airman | Lacks creativity. Social media access at bottom, is that the best location? Perhaps more focused resources would lift this medium for content delivery closer to its potential. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Website | U.S. Combined Arms Center web page | Busy, but easily navigated site. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Website | Scott Air Force Base | Solid layout, easily navigated from home page. Links provide access to significant info, including history. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Website | sealswcc.com | Youthful design. Good recruiting tool for SEALS. I see Facebook and Twitter, but what about others like Flickr? |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Article | Fallen Marine’s family adopts his best friend | This is not a news story. Entered in wrong category. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Article | Then and Now | Good use of quotes to take reader through the facts of the story. Good news stories provide strong ties to history - this story provides that link. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Article | WSMR memorial marathon eternalizes Bataan Death March | Story relies on sources to provide appropriate context for the reader. A nice mix of quotes and facts. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Article | Naval Special Warfare Command Makes a Wish Come True | Clearly written lead; edit tightly (Alvarado's mother - don't repeat George). Able to weave in a few colorful words but could have subject tell his own story rather than reporter citing "enjoyed", "memorable", "magical". |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Article | Fallen Squad Leader Lives On | This is a commentary and should be in a different category. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Article | Fallen Marine’s family adopts his best friend | While a decent story, this entry fails to meet the definition of a news article. Therefore I was unable to give it competitive markings in a category in which I feel it was miscast. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Article | WSMR memorial marathon eternalizes Bataan Death March | Nice overview of the event. Not clear is this is a run or a walk, as writer refers both to a "march" and a "marathon." Also, watch for spelling (turnout has no hyphen, for example), and paragraph length. The lead is nearly 40 words. It's way easier to read short sentences than long ones. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Article | Naval Special Warfare Command Makes a Wish Come True | This story was submitted in the news article category, but it is not a news article. It is a first-person column. It does not qualify as a news article. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Article | Fallen Squad Leader Lives On | The story does a good job of letting readers know that the teenager got to be a SEAL for the day. A story like this, however, would be better handled as a feature story. It's a missed opportunity to write a colorful story about all of the things the teenager and his "buddy" did. From this article, it sounds like the kid just got a tour of a facility... |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Article | Then and Now | Solid story on a topic that resonates well in today's national securtiy environment. Would have been great to have a quote or two from the then-highly visible Bruce Laingen instead if a reference to a 'chuckle.' |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Article | WSMR memorial marathon eternalizes Bataan Death March | Well-fabricated, concise news account. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Article | Naval Special Warfare Command Makes a Wish Come True | This was a great news article even though it featured human interest at its best! |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Article | Fallen Squad Leader Lives On | Very nice first-person account. Works as a commentary op-ed piece, but is categorically not a news article. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Article | Fallen Marine’s family adopts his best friend | This is not a news story; it is a feature story. It was submitted in the news story category in error. Unfortunately, it does not qualify.
The story is a touching human interest feature story. One suggestion: Explain a little more about the role of the dog. What does a military-trained dog do, specifically. And why was the private's family allowed to adopt the dog when the young man died? Do military dogs leave the military when their handlers do? |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Article | Then and Now | Story does a good job of letting readers know what happened at the event. Lead is the weakest point; it's not clear what the story is about until the third paragraph. That would be OK if the lead served as a hook, with an anecdote about someone who was being honored at the meeting, but the two first paragraphs are just statements of facts and don't draw the reader is. Missed opportunity to write a compelling anecdotal lede... |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Feature Article | DLA disposal team enters final stage of equipment drawdown in Iraq | Handled a sensitive (in many ways) story with clarity. The feature edge creeps in and helps the reader better understand the sensitive nature of what reporter is explaining. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Feature Article | Reset Program: Helping Soldiers cope with traumatic loss | This story has the chance to do more than report - it can change lives. It's very simple lead-in grabs readers who have been there as well as readers who have been impacted by family members with similar experiences. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Feature Article | "Airmen update history in French Countryside" | An important mission is detailed with clarity and compassion - which a news feature can do. Use of quotes makes story more "real" to the readers. Pulling up feelings of relatives adds to the depth of the story. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Feature Article | Fighting PTSD | Where are the sources? credibility? Two voices in an important story needing more voice. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | News Feature Article | Marines plunge into frigid canal to save nine Afghans | There is a great story here. Wonderful use of color and quotes. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Feature Article | DLA disposal team enters final stage of equipment drawdown in Iraq | Very well developed combination of feature and news treatment. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Feature Article | "Airmen update history in French Countryside" | Good topic for a story, and the writer handled is expertly with an anecdotal lede that takes the readers back to the crash. Enjoyed reading it; fabulous photography! |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Feature Article | Fighting PTSD | This story is packed with info about PTSD, but it's written more as a report than as a feature story. The hallmark of a feature story is its anecdotes, and this story doesn't have any. A feature about PTSD begs for the story of a servicemember or two who suffer from it. Instead, the story is almost clinical, telling abou the symptoms and therapies, but never describing it through the experience of someone who suffers from it. Also: Work on writing shorter paragraphs, writing with fewer unnecessary words and writing in the active voice... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Feature Article | Marines plunge into frigid canal to save nine Afghans | I love this story! It was fast-paced and compelling. I couldn't wait to find out what happened next. The writer is a real storyteller. Two weaknesses: the lead paragraphs are too slow. It wasn't at all clear what the story was going to be about until the fifth paragraph. Also, a gaping hole: Why did the driver hit Zaheed? Was it an accident? And did anyone get seriously hurt? |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Feature Article | Reset Program: Helping Soldiers cope with traumatic loss | Very strong lead -- few words, huge impact! Details flowed very nicely. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Feature Article | "Airmen update history in French Countryside" | Good story, but story telling felement was weighed down by lengthy sentences usually introduced by too many plodding clauses. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Feature Article | Fighting PTSD | Buried deep in this story is the real hook: "There is a large amount stigma and shame involved with PTSD, which may cause people to never seek treatment." It would have attracted a larger reading audience if it were placed higher in the story. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | News Feature Article | Marines plunge into frigid canal to save nine Afghans | Lead and nutgraf should have recounted more of the essence of the story: rescuing drowning victims. As presented, took way too long to get to the 'nut' of the story, even with the feature treatment. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Feature Article | DLA disposal team enters final stage of equipment drawdown in Iraq | Good topic for a news feature. I'd add some statistics along with your description of what the materials are recycled as... How many go to Afghanistan? How many are used for scrap? Also, watch your grammar and spelling. Example: eight year's worth should be eight years' worth.. Years is plural possessives; year's is singular... Finally, even though your story is for a military audience, don't assume everyone understands every bit of jargon. What is a "drawdown?" You use the word in the lede, which could turn off anyone who doesn't know what that is. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | News Feature Article | Reset Program: Helping Soldiers cope with traumatic loss | This is a good subject for a feature story. The info is good and the story about Chase is interesting. But your lede is way too long. The nut paragraph isn't until Paragraph 12. The story seems like it's about Chase's loss, not about a reset program. Get to the point sooner so readers know what the story is about. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Soldiers born from ground zero ashes | The real lead is late in the story. A good story with lots of color. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Reaching their Summit | Takes a while to get into the story. Lots of human interest at the end.... |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Orphaned | A well-written story of strength in the guise of a 6-year old. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Yellow Shirts: One Color, One Rank, One Family | Story plays well with quotes and description throughout. Add the photos and it's an effective package. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Boys Bic'ed bald for brave beauty | Would have liked to have more voices in the story. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Soldiers born from ground zero ashes | Wonderful piece for the 10th anniversary of 9/11. To have the human interest angle focused on two soldiers who bridged their 9/11 experience, was upfront and very personal. But it have been better constructed to bring the NYC-Army connection higher in the story. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Orphaned | This is an indepth story about a fatal accident that occurred in 2009 ... and has no news peg, so it begs the question: Why are you telling me this *now?* The photos are fabulous, but the story isn't relevant or newsworthy... It's not clear why this is in your publication. Also, the writer offers way too much of his own opinion in the story. Avoid the value-laden adjectives and talking directly to the reader. You aren't part of the story... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Yellow Shirts: One Color, One Rank, One Family | This is a great topic for a feature story. Suggestion: Incorporate anecdotes as well as quotations into a feature story. This one begs for little stories about near-misses and challenging landings, told by the yellow shirts themselves. An anecdotal lead about a real-life experience from a yellow-shirt would be a way better hook than a story about a meeting. This is a long story full of details but no "color." It's a missed opportunity to tell the yellow shirts' story through their own experiences. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Boys Bic'ed bald for brave beauty | This brief feature could have been handled as a long cutline under a feature photo instead of as a whole story. The story doesn't have a point: just that the guys shaved their heads in solidarity.. which really is more of a photo op than newsworthy enough for a story. Also, proofread: "sarcoma's" means one sarcoma and it's possessive: 'sarcomas" is the simple plural the correct word. and "are are currently" is a careless typo. Finally: BIC'd? not clear. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Reaching their Summit | Human interest was buried deep, deep into story: "Eric Cowan's uphill battle...," which was a neat play on words. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Orphaned | Out of the mouths of babes! Excellent story that touches the heart of everyone on the results of drunken driving. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Yellow Shirts: One Color, One Rank, One Family | Decent treatise on the yellow jackets. Story has very high value to the carrier community, and should be of interest to anyone interested in safety. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Boys Bic'ed bald for brave beauty | "What's a sarcoma?" isn't addressed till midway through story. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Soldiers born from ground zero ashes | This is a very long story that doesn't get to its point until the *fifth* page! The headline says soldiers were born of 9/11, and we don't find out what that means until the story is 5/6 finished! Get to the point in every story as sooon as possible. A long, long story about the experience of two people on 9/11 is not compelling. Everyone has a 9/11 story, and they've been overdone.... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Human Interest Feature Article | Reaching their Summit | This is a long, long story that misses the point. The "story within the story" is the climb that the injured soldiers made--and that doesn't appear until the second-to-last column of the story. The writer tells about the connection between soldiers and the mountain; about the program, about how the featured soldiers got injured... and then barely anything about the *real* story--the trip up the mountain... just a couple of paragraphs on that. A real missed opportunity for a compelling feature story |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Personality Feature Article | From hospital to Hollywood: a Soldier's story | Would have liked to hear more from others who have worked with Martinez and could reflect on the subject's personality, perseverance. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Wearing two hats | A strong personality story that helps you understand the person and his lifestyle. Lots of color and voices from his world - both military and professional. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Shooting survivor, not a victim | Weaves a story showing the woman's determination and strength. The reader can walk with her during the highs and the lows of the experience. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Announcing the 2010 Superintendent of the Year—Fred Buxton | Lead way too long to get readers into the story. Takes time to get to know Buxton - or why he is important. Writer needs to edit more tightly. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Battle hardened Marine uses experience, wisdom to teach others | Story shows the character of the Marine - but it is hard to follow. Lead or nutgraphy should pull in the reader. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Personality Feature Article | From hospital to Hollywood: a Soldier's story | Well done on all accounts. Of course, writer had great subject with which to work, and this was even before he'd go on to more fame in competing and winning on television's "Dancing With the Stars." |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Shooting survivor, not a victim | Very compelling story, both because of the topic and the good writing. Two notes: 1. Because the shooting was a year old when you wrote about it, you might have linked it to the one-year anniversary of the shooting. As is, there's no news peg, so it begs the question: Why are you telling me this *now?* 2. Proofread for grammar errors.Example: "now she says she know"... instead of 'knows.' |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Announcing the 2010 Superintendent of the Year—Fred Buxton | This is a good story about a prominent figure... but it's not clear why the story is newsworthy enough to appear in your publicaiton *now.* It's not pegged to anything like an anniversary or a promotion. It's good idea to find some sort of reason why you're doing a story on someone... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Battle hardened Marine uses experience, wisdom to teach others | A profile should be more about a person's personality than his resume... This story reads more like his bio than a feature. The lead paragraph should include a little story about the subject's life: something funny, unusual, compelling, etc... Instead, it introduces the award... |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Wearing two hats | Story contains all the facts, but misses the mark somewhat on the storytelling aspect. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Shooting survivor, not a victim | The lead and nutgraf generated great interest to read rest of story. Compressing the telling of events would have allowed more of the personality of the shooting survivor to dominate the story. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Announcing the 2010 Superintendent of the Year—Fred Buxton | This story plods along from the very beginning, lacking in personality and feature treatment. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Personality Feature Article | From hospital to Hollywood: a Soldier's story | Good topic; great that the writer was able to interview this new TV star... the lede is unfortunate, though; it's never a good idea to write generalizations or something that's common knowledge, especially in a lede. Better to begin the story with an experience that Martinez talked about, or about a scene from the show that mirrored one of Martinez's real-life experiences. Also: Watch your grammar. Brush up on the difference between who and whom in any grammar book. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Personality Feature Article | Wearing two hats | Great topic, good lead paragraph... an easy read. A little longer than it needs to be... but worthwhile and interesting. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Commentary | "He was just a baby" | A very personal, yet effective column. Fused with facts, but not boring. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Commentary | Paying respects to fallen Airmen: A lifetime in 8 minutes | A column that puts life in perspective and challenges the reader to think about how they can change their life. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Commentary | The Passing of a Navy Chief | A lot of history in this article. The reader gets a taste of Feller - but just the facts and not too much commentary. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Commentary | Top enlisted Marines at Cherry Point expect few challenges with DADT repeal | Written more from perspective of news story-little commentary. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Commentary | "He was just a baby" | Lacks impact. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Commentary | Paying respects to fallen Airmen: A lifetime in 8 minutes | Thoughtful perspective. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Commentary | Top enlisted Marines at Cherry Point expect few challenges with DADT repeal | This is a news article, not a commentary. Will not render a score because of this. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Commentary | "He was just a baby" | A good commentary leaves the reader with something to think about. This piece seems to have been written by the writer for the writer, rather than for the audience. The columnm is about the writer's experience meeting a young man who died shorter after. But if the conversion between them was "profound," as the writer asserts, that doesn't come across... We know what the writer took away from the meeting. What did he intend for the reader to take away from the column? |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Commentary | Paying respects to fallen Airmen: A lifetime in 8 minutes | This column has some potential. The writer's emotion is evident and the reader can actually feel it... But if those eight minutes changed the writer's perspective forever, it's not clear how... The column seems unfinished. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Commentary | The Passing of a Navy Chief | This is a nice tribute to Feller, but it's doesn't exactly qualify as a column. A column should reveal the writer's perspective on a particular topic or problem... This might have done well as a news feature. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Commentary | Top enlisted Marines at Cherry Point expect few challenges with DADT repeal | This is a well-written news story, but it's not a column. It doesn't qualify as a column. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Sports Article | Twin Cities personnel 'throw stones, sweep rocks' | This really isn't a sports story - it's more business-related: team building. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Sports Article | Wounded Warriors cast lines upon the water | Nice use of quotes and story about opportunities for wounded; however, the sports angle isn't well developed. Probably would have fared better in another category. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Sports Article | Finding the Strength to Fight | A real story of perserverance. The reader is sitting beside the ring cheering for Sgt. Beck to be successful. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Sports Article | Daniel Silva: Navy Boxer | Provides a clear picture of an athlete with a mission to succeed. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Sports Article | Catch me if you can: All-Marine runner switches uniforms, changes from humble Marine to hungry athlete | Lead gets reader into the story and helps to follow the runner throughout. Nice transitions. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Sports Article | Twin Cities personnel 'throw stones, sweep rocks' | Needed to know tie-in to sports before the third graf. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Sports Article | Finding the Strength to Fight | Good topic; nice writing. I would like to have seen more "stories within the story" about Beck's experiences in the boxing ring. Especially because you have offered this as a sports story, the 'sports' part it seems weak. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Sports Article | Daniel Silva: Navy Boxer | This is an indepth look at a boxer in training... It begs the question: Why are you telling me *now?* Why is this story newsworthy at this time? It's not clear why you chose to write about this boxer instead of any other... Also: The writer overdoes the "ahhhs" and "ding-dings." Also, the inconsistency between present tense and past tense early in the story made it sound like the boxer had died. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Sports Article | Catch me if you can: All-Marine runner switches uniforms, changes from humble Marine to hungry athlete | This is an indepth story about a runner, why he runs and his history with runner. It begs the question: Why are you telling me this *now?* What's the news peg? Why is this timely? If he had just run a big race, it might make more sense.... Also, in any profile, add lots of anecdotes--like the one of the boy running around the house. It's the "story within the story" that makes a piece an award winner and a must-read. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Sports Article | Twin Cities personnel 'throw stones, sweep rocks' | This isn't a sports story; it's a business story about an exercise involving sports. You should have entered it in a different category... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Sports Article | Wounded Warriors cast lines upon the water | This isn't really a sports story; it's a feature story about a program that helps wounded warriers by teaching them how to fly-fish. It might have done better in another cateegory. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Sports Article | Wounded Warriors cast lines upon the water | Starting with the lead, this story needed tightening -- way too much verbiage. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Sports Article | Finding the Strength to Fight | Motivating sports story. Also a wornderful human interest article. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Sports Article | Daniel Silva: Navy Boxer | Needed some impactful quotes from or about the interviewee before 12 grafs into the story. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Series | Military Working Dogs | A well-sourced series about how these dogs are planned, birthed, trained. Some real leg work here. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Series | Profiles in Guard History | The reader gets a real sense of meeting these heroes. Well sourced but no real peg in stories. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Series | No Airman left behind | A tough story to write but handled well. Nice use of quotes. Need to edit stories more carefully. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Series | 77-Day Warrior Challenge | This gets a lot of names in print and a discussion about some important life changes. Good reporting. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Series | Killing Time | A story about taking time to adapt. Writer works to show determination of Marines. Need to work on editing. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Series | Military Working Dogs | Topic was interesting, but stories took too long to develop. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Series | No Airman left behind | Excellent storytelling! The ledes start each story off a little bit slowly, but the body of each story is fast-paced and compelling. One thing, though: The anecdote lasts so long that I found myself wondering what the point of the story was -- all three times... Get to the point quicker so the reader will understand what the story is really about. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Series | 77-Day Warrior Challenge | I love the idea of following some of the "77-day warriors" through the program... The story might have been a little more interesting if the writer told more-compelling stories about each person. Instead of just saying someone was sick, tell a story about something that happened in class because he was sick. In a story like this, you need to show rather than tell... Also, the first three installments of the series seem too long. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Series | Killing Time | When I read the first article of the series, I wondered why this was newsworthy. Then, I think I "got" the point, which was just to show readers how guys kill time when there's nothing to do. The length of the first one is perfect--very short... just long enough to make its lone point and then close. The other three are too long. If you're going to make this a regular series--and I hope you do--I suggest you limit each article to a couple of hundred words. Also, the story on the guy who's training didn't fit in. He's not killing time; he's got a bigger purpose. Overall, though, great concept, and nice execution. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Series | Profiles in Guard History | Crisp writing. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Series | No Airman left behind | Decently compelling stories as a package is what holds these stories together as a series. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Series | 77-Day Warrior Challenge | Good information presented in consumable segments. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Series | Killing Time | Interesting assembly of off-duty pursuits in the combat arena. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Series | Military Working Dogs | The topic of this series has so much potential. Everyone loves to read about dogs, and these military dogs can become heroes. So why is a story about training military dogs missing an anecdote about a hero dog who was trained there? The story is bogged down in too much minutia. What do these dogs do when they're finished training? Give us some examples of dogs from already-trained litters who have saved lives. Each story seems long, and the two seem too repetitive. Two parts is too many for this topic unless you're going to write about dog heroics. Also, who is 'we' in the lead of Part 1? There's no other reference to 'we' in the stories (there shouldn't even be one). This is confusing. The reporter should not be a part of the story. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Series | Profiles in Guard History | This writer has a real knack for interviewing and for telling "stories within the story." I laughed out loud at the "you gotta be born in 1919" story. This is a great topic for a series, but I have say: The stories are way too long. Write tighter, shorten the word count, and your readers will be more likely to stick with you from start to finish. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Photojournalism | District Governor confronts challenges of remote life | Wonderfully written story - but oh, so long. Needs some tighter editing. Beautifully done photos, particularly the landscape shot - ala National Geographic. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Photojournalism | New rifle course prepares Airmen for combat | Well-written story and photos that show depth and interesting angles. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Photojournalism | USS Alaska Crew Celebrates St. Pat's in Style | A lightweight photo story. Perhaps more depth about the importance of the relationship with the holiday and the city would have strengthened it. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Photojournalism | From insurgent hotbed to commercial hub: Afghans, Marines clear Safar Bazaar of remnants of illegal activity during Operation Sandman | Article and photos give you a sense of how life has evolved. Clear shots - but would like to see more of the faces that make this market "go". Don't see the buzz that is the market. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Photojournalism | District Governor confronts challenges of remote life | Compelling, well-written story. Nice photos... some are a little dark, but the angles are nice and the access the photographer had to the subjects is impressive... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Photojournalism | New rifle course prepares Airmen for combat | Photo composition is nice; some of the photos are "arty," which makes them interesting. They don't show that they are in a classroom or training... The story is informative but not compelling; consider adding anecdotes as told by the students and instructors to add interest. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Photojournalism | USS Alaska Crew Celebrates St. Pat's in Style | Good photos, although a couple are of people's backs rather than their faces... Good story, but a bit long for the topic. In a story like this, the photos are really more important than the words. Better to write a short, colorful story and showcase the photos. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Photojournalism | From insurgent hotbed to commercial hub: Afghans, Marines clear Safar Bazaar of remnants of illegal activity during Operation Sandman | After reading the story, I expected to see photos of a busy bazaar, but I saw photos of a child with a soldier... The photos didn't seem to "go" with the story, which described something the photos don't show. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | Soldiers learn how to be cool | Writer provides good information; even transitions and facts |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | Ensign carries on family Orion tradition | Story provides good history lesson. Easy to read. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | Ensign carries on family Orion tradition | Lead and bridge were very good. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | ‘Spam Czar’ sends care packages to K-Bay Marines | Lead would have been improved by using the 'spam czar' moniker buried deep down in the story as a hook. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | Soldiers learn how to be cool | Useful information. A tip: Shorten your paragraphs. Every time you change the subject, even a little bit, start a new paragraph. Short sentences and short paragrpaphs are easier to read and have a greater impact on the reader. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | Ensign carries on family Orion tradition | Nice story about a third-generation pilot. Good quotes. Could use an anecdote or two about her experiences, or about her dad's and grandpa's... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Writer) | ‘Spam Czar’ sends care packages to K-Bay Marines | Nice story about a local guy doing a good dead for servicemembers. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | Family Program delivers support to military Families through Yellow Ribbon | Loved the quote about Skype. This is a heartwarming story that shares experiences. Photos capture the spirit of story about families. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | RHendersonCorpsmanChallenge | Photos provide an effective showcase of the challenge. Copy needs to be edited. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | Marine father, son-in-law return simultaneously from deployment | A lively story with two great angles. Would've loved to see more photos than traditional coming home shots. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | Family Program delivers support to military Families through Yellow Ribbon | Story OK, photos not compelling. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | RHendersonCorpsmanChallenge | Story was concise, photos were compelling. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | Family Program delivers support to military Families through Yellow Ribbon | The topic of this story is interesting and important, but the writer has missed an opportunity to tell stories about how the program has helped the families. You can show readers a program rather than tell them about it by incorporating anecdotes *plus* quotes rather than quotes alone... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | RHendersonCorpsmanChallenge | Fabulous photos. Good composition, incredible sharpness and clarity. The story is just the right length; let the stories tell the photo. I like the photos better than the writing, which is fine but not compelling. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Contribution by Stringer (Photojournalism) | Marine father, son-in-law return simultaneously from deployment | Love the photo of the little girl running to great her dad, but he "kiss" photo seems posed... The story is fine, but way too long. That two relatives came back together might be better portrayed with more photos and fewer words. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | USAG-Humphreys Social Media Network | Essentially a standard Web page - well-done - in a new media category where I expected to see Facebook pages, use of Twitter feeds, etc. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | AFN Okinawa Facebook Page | Good Facebook page, stimulates conversation. Perhaps editor of the site may want to step in more to answer questions when speculation begins to raise questions relative to resources available on Okinawa--provide the straight scoop. Use Facebook for the command, but not so much that it signals overbearing command influence. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | CNFJ NEW MEDIA | Not truly demonstrative of a sortie in new media. More of a website. Facebook is evident and the informative videos are okay |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | MCAS Miramar New Media | More of a website competitor than an exhibit of outstanding initiative in new media. The Internet address provided http://www.marines.mil/unit/mcasmiramar/Pages/jrc/ipac.aspx did not have readily visible social media icons. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | NDANG Social Media | Credit for creating the page - but without explanation there's no reader guide to what functionally is an "index" guide to main display. A rare case where the sum (overall content) is greater than the individual parts. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | AFN Okinawa Facebook Page | Ease of navigation and design elements are limited by Facebook constraints, but content was varied and as a live group page it seemed to have good involvement and flow. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | CNFJ NEW MEDIA | Introductory page lacked impact and "layover" design element in page center covered valuable territory without adding that much content for the reader. "Select your installation" menu should have more emphasis. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | MCAS Miramar New Media | Way too much material on the home page, which is a traditional Web site competiting in a new media category where Facebook pages, twitter feeds and Flickr pages seem more appropriate. Seems to lack intiutive direction for reader -- in effec, you need to know where to go before coming to the page. "Less is more" (bigger categories to guide user in search) would help here. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | USAG-Humphreys Social Media Network | Perhaps more appropriate as an entry in the website category. There is access to new media--more that just Facebook, and that's good. Each of the links (icons) on the homepage took you to a message indicating you will be redirected...did not link directly to the new media. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Initiative in New Media | NDANG Social Media | Flickr only. Not aggressively exploiting new media at this point, but it's apparent the delivery of content is moving forward, so Twitter and Facebook won't be far away. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Missouri National Guard Live | Use of photo images to self-identify and determine optional content is a great idea -- and offers even first-time users an intutive, easy welcome into site content. Interior pages lack the flair, by comparison. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Air Force Live | Photo panels with individual entries add to ease of movign from items -- while text only "Popular Posts" was diminishyed but visually and in easy to use value to page visitor. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Navy Medicine Live | Much more a traditional Web site format and approach than other entries in this category. But content quality moves this up in overall scoring .. . as does "one-click" ease of navigation and a "refer" bar (facebook, share, tweet, etc.) with each item. |
| Judge # 166 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Transformation of Marines | Most unique entry in the TJ competition. As I read it, I wished there was more of the specific class since this is a blog format -- material seemed very generic, not tied to any one experience. Design was simple, but appropriate for the subject matter. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Missouri National Guard Live | Most recent blog: Nov 2011. Social media icons visible on unit website. Tweets more recent. Blog could benefit from "gardening" or "priming" by command rep. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Air Force Live | Really solid step forward in harnessing blogs and other social media to carry the Air Force message. Now look to do more--daily focus on new content, vice weekly on photos. Press the attack. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Navy Medicine Live | Good, solid beginning for harnessing blog and other social media efforts. Keep it up. |
| Judge # 168 | Print | Outstanding Blog | Transformation of Marines | Good use of Wordpress. Now do some gardening. The most recent content is month's old. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | SPC Ken Scar | Writes with great intensity and has a strong sense of what is news. Talented writer. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | Senior Airman Meredith A.H. Thomas | A clear writer with a good sense of news; she covers stories with all foci well. Easy to read yet important stories to tell. Has great potential. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | MC2 Timothy Walter | Great potential. With more experience, writer will learn importance of editing and to avoid overuse of military jargon. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | Cpl. Lisa M. Tourtelot | With more experience, writer will refine her craft. Good sense of structure and news values. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | SPC Ken Scar | As a writer, SPC Scar demonstrated a great-storytelling connection with each of his products. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | SPC Ken Scar | These stories are indepth and packed with information. That is both their strength and their weakness. The stories are so dense with the writer's words that the subjects of the stories take a back seat. Leads are too long and are not about the story. The writer spends too much space describing the scene that there's little room for the action. Better: Use descriptive clauses throughout the stories as part of other sentences rather than devoting entire paragraphs to it... |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | Senior Airman Meredith A.H. Thomas | Good writing, good topics... Most of the stories are way too long; especially when a story is about a program or a committee, it's not as interesting to readers as it is to the writer. Try adding anecdotes to your stories to add color and interest. Just describing and quoting isn't nearly as interesting. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | MC2 Timothy Walter | Very good writing (although the "denominations" lede was hard to understand; if the photo weren't with the story, I'm not sure readers would know you were talking about money). Overall, this writer excels at writing news; and the story abou the son who spread is ashes is a good read. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | Outstanding New Writer | Cpl. Lisa M. Tourtelot | Good, clean writing. This writer is really on the right track. Stories are interesting and easy to read. Tips: Incorporate more anecdotes into feature stories so you "show" rather than "tell" the reader... and shorten sentences a little bit. Nice overall body of work. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Randy Roughton | Handles tough stories well. Thorough reporting, writing and insuring the strength of news values. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | SSG Lindsey Kibler | Has a clear sense of journalism and the importance of story integrity. Needs a bit more experience in editing. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Tech. Sgt. Shawn J. Jones | Well defined writing style that brings the reader in. Strong sense of good writing. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | MC2 Ace M. Rheaume | Even writer. Stories need some attention to detail to tighten and eliminate jargon. |
| Judge # 163 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Cpl. Brian Adam Jones | Handles stories with great finesse. Clear writing style. Has a good eye for news. An effective journalist. |
| Judge # 164 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Randy Roughton | The high quality of Roughton's writing permeates all of his entries. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Tech. Sgt. Shawn J. Jones | This writer has chosen stories that are timely and relevant, a contrast to many Print Journalist of the Year contenders who chose to write about past events without finding a current news hook. In the Normandy story, for example, the writer does an outstanding job of linking the past to the present by incorporating paragraphs about history with the work of the Reserve Airmen who retrieved the wreckage at the crash site. Other stories include anecdotes and colorful quotes, which make them a pleasure to read. My favorite: the weight-loss story, which is brief and to the point—and lets the astonishing before-and-after stories do the talking. Kudos for that; many of the stories in military pubs are way, way too long. You should only write a story “for what it’s worth,” without padding to fill an arbitrary word count. Congratulations on your outstanding portfolio of work. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | MC2 Ace M. Rheaume | Some of these stories have the potential to be captivating, but they need lots of anecdotes, examples and colorful quotations to get there. This writer does a solid job of outlining the facts of an event or program. But the stories lack a “hook” to capture the readers’ interest and “stories within the story” to keep them interested from start to finish. Every story in this portfolio seems routine. Most begin with a generalization. An anecdotal lead on any one of them would have alerted the reader about why the story was interesting and important enough to read through. A tip: Read magazine stories and also feature articles in the Sunday newspaper. Take note of how the stories begin. The writers don’t tell readers what they already know (Piloting helicopters and jumping out of aircraft are a few things most Sailors are not normally trained to do) or presume to know what the subjects of the story are thinking (The Saturday morning mindset of a few runners was not to watch cartoons). They begin with stories. Become a storytelling, and transform routine articles into real stories. Also: Make sure every word is precise and says exactly what you mean. Piloting helicopters and jumping are *two* things, not a*a few* things. Write literally. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Cpl. Brian Adam Jones | Cpl. Jones is a solid news writer. The writing is clear, easy to follow and, best of all, not bogged down with a lot of jargon or technical descriptions that readers may or may not be able to follow. The writer incorporates sounds, smells and how the air feels into some of his stories, which help transport the reader to the scene. And Cpl. Jones has a way with words, using clever turns of phrases that are delightful to read. A few tips: As much as those descriptions help move the story along, the stories need more: They need more “stories within the story” that “show” the reader, from the perspective of the people in the stories. More showing and less telling will make these pieces award winner. An example: The Gettysburg piece begins with a pleasant description of how things looked from the yard of the Marines’ camp. But a more compelling lead might have included an anecdote about the experience of one Marine during his tour of Gettysburg. Also, work a bit on transitions: Every paragraph should follow up on the one before it and flow into the one after it. The 9/11 story is a bit hard to follow because the transitions are off a bit. Overall, nice work. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | Randy Roughton | The topics this writer has selected for his stories are rich, important and have the potential to be the foundation for gripping and inspiring stories. His story choice is a clue that the writer has a firm grip on the concept of newsworthiness and audience. The stories fall short of their potential, however. The writer tends to “tell” readers about a situation, a program or a person rather than to “show” them what happened and let them feel the emotions that clearly go along with articles about PTSD, cancer and puppies. The article about cancer, for example, begins as a story about the woman agreeing to tell her story. That’s just not as interesting as her story itself. With more experience, this writer will surely be a future Print Journalist of the Year. |
| Judge # 167 | Print | DOD Print Journalist of the Year | SSG Lindsey Kibler | When a team builds a command outpost in a village where “Taliban activity has become a way of life,” it’s clear that the Soldiers doing the work are in grave danger of life-threatening, if not fatal, resistance. The series mentions that they “met with some resistance,” but never says what they was or how severe it was. Instead, it outlines the plans for and progress of the construction. This feels like a missed opportunity to show the reality of the dangerous work Soldiers do and what they had to deal with to complete this mission. Instead of telling a story, the writer gave a report. It’s thorough and important, but it could have been a much better lead if it had focused more on anecdotes than official quotes. Similarly, the lead of the “paratrooper” story begins with a generalization about why people join the Army instead of with a compelling story that illustrates why Troxell joined. Tip: Show, don’t tell. The best writers tell stories instead of simply writing facts. They weave those facts, along with descriptions and plenty of funny, sad, surprising, shocking and compelling anecdotes, into stories that make the readers feel like they were there. Ask more personal questions of your sources to get those stories: What surprised you? How did you feel? Looking back, what would you do differently? Reveal personality and emotion, and your stories will be award-winners. |